Spotify is genuinely the only thing getting me through today. Last night all I wanted to do was get drunk, today all I want to do is curl up in the corner of a darkened room and die.
My alarm went off at 8am this morning and then I spent 3 hours just lying in bed. When I eventually got up around 11am I was so tired I could barely walk straight. A couple of minutes ago I went into the kitchen to get a glass of water and I sat back down in the chair of my office and I couldn’t remember walking down the stairs or running the tap.
Now I’m back staring at my computer screen and everything is going wrong. A new website (I’m a website developer by trade) isn’t working properly and I don’t know what the problem is, a potential client is fannying around with contracts and won’t sign unless I change parts of it, a current client is late paying for their website, and whilst this isn’t necessarily a bad thing, my friends are currently using me as a buffer for finding out who they should date. I’m kinda feeling like the gay best friend with these two female friends talking about their boyfriends and future boyfriends and one of them is showing me Facebook profiles for the guys she likes and wants me to tell her what I think of them.
Like I say, it’s not always a bad thing. I like talking to them and if it helps then great.
Back to death however. I have no idea what I’m doing today. I’m sitting at the computer trying to work but just can’t do anything worthwhile. I have spotify on in the background and it’s playing literally everything from Bon Jovi to Eminem and even the good songs that I really like aren’t cheering me up. I often listen to really sad songs in the hope that it’ll get it out my system and feel happier but occasionally one of them will crop up on my playlist and it won’t make a difference.