Of course I can decide. Yes. Yes Britain is dumbing down. And it’s dumbing down far too much and far too quickly. Anyone who watches TV on a daily basis will no doubt have seen the advert for a certain brand of shampoo and conditioner that features a woman underneath a waterfall in the jungle seductively washing her hair. If you look really closely, you’ll see a caption appear at the bottom left of the screen. Can you make it out? It seems to say:
Please don’t shampoo your eyes
I want to know who’s sitting watching this advert thinking “shit, I’ve been doing it wrong all these years”. Is there really anyone stupid enough to be washing their eyes with shampoo? I shouldn’t say that. Somebody somewhere will be.
And all of this is because companies are scared someone will sue them. If they put a little message saying “don’t shampoo your eyes” it means nobody can come back at them for not warning them not to – yes, it does happen. I always thought it was America who were the ones to sue for anything and everything. There was that woman last year who tried to sue her nephew for however many thousands of dollars after she claimed he broke her arm (shoulder?) after an over-exuberant hug. You’ll be pleased to hear she lost. But now the UK is following suit. Nobody uses common sense these days and it means companies are forced to put ridiculous warnings on their products to stop people suing them.
If I ever get to work in the package design department of a large products company I want to have free reign to write what we all think – “don’t shampoo your eyes you moron. Shampoo your ears. It’ll clean them quicker”.